LITERARY
Sumala ni Laki og Baye
Sumala ni Laki og Baye sa Pinulungang Bisdak (She Said…He Said…in Bisaya!)
She said…
1. kamong mga laki, kung mo tan-aw gani
ang mga babae sa inyo, ayaw pod pag feeling2x
nga naka angay mi nu? maka turn off na sha bah…
2. kung mag ask gani mo date, ayaw kayu mo
ngisi nga mura nag maniac tan-awon kay
mahadlok pod baya mi…
3. kung mo sabay gani mo sa amo, pagsinina
pod mog tarong dili nang murag tambay… para
mo samot mig ka in lab ninyo bah…pamulbos
gamay, pangkolon gamay… panudlay gamay…
4. kung manguyab na gani mo, ayaw ug sulti
nga “pwede ko manguyab nimo? or naa koy
chance?” kay kung tubagon namo na, mura
nag gisugot mo namo…
5. kung sugton na gani mo namo, taronga pod mi
oi… dili kay biyaan na lang, usahay himuon pang
sulugoon… maid inyong gipangita?
6. do not forget to remind us that you love us…
para kiligon sad mi panagsa…hehehe
7. ayaw mog pangita ug lain kay wa nay lami!
8. kung makigbulag na gani mo, ayaw ninyo ingna
ang girl nga “you’re just nothing to me now,
understand!” hehehe… sakit baya nah…
9.ayaw pud ninyo hulata nga kami mouna ug
pansin ninyo if ever magkita ta somewhere hah…
mao ra to…walay masuko…pildi ang maglagot…hehehe
He said…
Para sa mga babae…
1. Kung muingon mi nga gwapa ka, ayaw dayon
tubag ug “atik!”…Panagsa ra mi mu dayeg ug
gwapa…obyusleh, kung gitawag ka nga “gwapa”
naa jud mi enteres nimo…kinsa man sad kuno ang
tarong nga laki tawagon kang “bati’g nawong!”
atubangan sa kadaghanan…Di kaha mi katilaw ug
plying kick ana?
2. Mangutana gani mi kung kanus-a imong RD
(rest day) ug kung abelabol ba ka ana, kana
nagpasabot kung pwede ba ka ma detdet
(DATE ba sa iningles)…ayaw sab mi baraha
kay mangutana lagi mi nimu ug strait…amo
lang gityming-tyming kay mauwawon man
sab tawon mi…
3. Kung nakabantay na ka nga nagsige na mi
ug sunod-sunod nimo, maka-baynte na mi
ug grit nimo gud morning, or ikaw na lang
pirmi tagdon, makig dungan ug uli bisan nort
ug sawt, langit ug lupa ang gilay-on sa atong
balay wid matching “Ako lang dala sa imo
tings beh!”, kana ganahan jud mi nimo…
Pero sa pirmi natong kinuyog ug detdet
(DATE sa iningles pa), ayaw sab pangutana
ug dali-dali “Wat r we?” or sa binisaya pa,
“Unsa man jud diay ta?”… Inahak, makulbaan baya
sab mi gamay … we also feel a bit presyur…
Kalma lang gud…musulti lagi mi in dyu taym.
4. Kung kahibawo na jud ka nga ganahan mi
nimo kay nisulti na man jud mi (hala ka!)
Ayaw sad sige hisgot sa imo Ex-boypren
oi…its hurt man sad…not unlis kung nisturya
ka sa panahong gigukod siya sa inyong IRO
nga nisutoy siya ug dagan kay por syur I will lap
wid u…
5. Hangyo lang sad, kung nakakita ka sa
imong crush o di ba kaha nakakita ka ug laki
nga purting gwapoha, ayaw sad panguhit
namo, “Gwapo kaayo siya noh?” Hala plis! Laki
intawon mi ug dili pud mi kiligon sa imong
crush… Masuko ra ba mo kung mu comentaryo
mi, “Gwapo pa man akong lolo ana!”
6. Sa panahon nga mag-date na tah, por syur
kami man jud gasto, be konsyus wid yor dayet ha
para konsyus pud mi sa among bulsa…kung kada
adlaw na ta date ug nakabantay mo nga chippy ug
tubig na lang among gi-order, KKB na ta
hah…salamat sa pagsabot.
7. But op cors labaw sa tanan, ayaw kayu ni
ninyo siryusuha kay basin mu comentaryo
mo, mapikon mo ug ibalik ni ninyo nako,
Dyok dyok ra ni oi…dalang tinoud…hehehe
8. Pero kung dili na jud madala kay naglagot
jud mong mga babaye ani…Iporward sa tanang
babaye nga kaila ninyo nga wala pa makabasa…
Pag porma dayon mo ug grupo nga Gabriella (lugar
chapter ninyo)
9. Sa mga lalake, kalingawi lang ni ninyo ug porward
pero ayaw sa inyong naibgan kay basin instant
basted niya mo ana!
Pahabol: Kung magpakuyog mo mirkado…ayaw
pud mi paalsaha ug usa ka sakong bugas… Kilo-
kiloha lang pud ntawon na…maluoy mo…
‘juz hope nalingaw tang tanan!
enjoy ur weekend guys! pag ayo-ayo,hinay-hinay lang…slowly but surely
GODBLESS…
God’s Promises
Promises From God
A promise from God is a statement we can depend on with absolute confidence. Here are 12 promises for the Christian to claim.
· God’s presence— “I will never leave thee” (Heb. 13:5)
· God’s protection—”I am thy shield” (Gen. 15:1)
· God’s power—”I will strengthen thee” (Isa. 41:10)
· God’s provision—”I will help thee” (Isa. 41:10)
· God’s leading—”And when He putteth forth His own sheep, He goeth before them” (John 10:4)
· God’s purposes— “I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil” (Jer. 20:11)
· God’s rest—”Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28)
· God’s cleansing— “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9)
· God’s goodness— “No good thing will He withhold from them that work uprightly” (Psalm 84:11)
· God’s faithfulness—”The Lord will not forsake His people for His great name’s sake” (1 Sam. 12:22)
· God’s guidance—”The meek will He guide” (Psalm 25:9)
· God’s wise plan—”All things work together for good to them that love God” (Rom. 8:28)
Our Daily Bread, January 1, 1985
15 Things God Won’t Ask
15 things that God Won’t Ask
1. God won’t ask what kind of car you drove, but will ask how many people you drove who didn’t have transportation.
2. God won’t ask the square footage of your house, but will ask how many people you welcomed into your house.
3. God won’t ask about the fancy clothes you had in your closet, but will ask how many of those clothes helped the needy.
4. God won’t ask about your social status, but will ask what kind of class you displayed.
5. God won’t ask how many material possessions you had, but will ask if
they dictated your life.
6. God won’t ask what your highest salary was, but will ask if you compromised your character to obtain that salary.
7. God won’t ask how much overtime you worked, but will ask if you worked overtime for your family and loved ones.
8. God won’t ask how many promotions you received, but will ask how you promoted others.
9. God won’t ask what your job title was, but will ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.
10. God won’t ask what you did to help yourself, but will ask what you did to help others.
11. God won’t ask how many friends you had, but will ask how many people to whom you were a true friend.
12. God won’t ask what you did to protect your rights, but will ask what you did to protect the rights of others.
13. God won’t ask in what neighbourhood you lived, but will ask how you treated your neighbours.
14. God won’t ask about the colour of your skin, but will ask about the content of your character.
15. God won’t ask how many times your deeds matched your words, but will ask how many times they didn’t.
Author unknown.
Yes I Did
Tell God of your 3 P’s:
Problems
Pressures and
Plans
And He will give you His ABC’s:
Answers to Prayers
Best favors and
Courage to go on.
Point for Reflection
Do you Agree With Me?
1. Give God what is right and not what is left.
2. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing
3. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone
4. In the sentence of life, the evil may be a comma, but never let him be the period
5. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the CHURCH for a face lift
6. When praying, don’t give God instructions, just report for duty
7. We don’t change God’s message
Friendship
C. Raymond Beran, (Bits & Pieces, September 19, 1991, p. 3-4) asks, what is a friend? Friends are people with whom you dare to be yourself. Your soul can be naked with them. They ask you to put on nothing, only to be what you are. They do not want you to be better or worse. When you are with them, you feel as a prisoner feels who has been declared innocent. You do not have to be on your guard. You can say what you think, as long as it is genuinely you. Friends understand those contradictions in your nature that lead others to misjudge you. With them you breathe freely. You can avow your little vanities and envies and hates and vicious sparks, your meannesses and absurdities, and in opening them up to friends, they are lost, dissolved on the white ocean of their loyalty. They understand. You do not have to be careful. You can abuse them, neglect them, tolerate them. Best of all, you can keep still with them. It makes no matter. They like you. They are like fire that purges to the bone. They understand. You can weep with them, sing with them, laugh with them, pray with them. Through it all–and underneath–they see, know, and love you. A friend? What is a friend? Just one, I repeat, with whom you dare to be yourself.
The Stages of Friendship
In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.
In first grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls.
In second grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.
In third grade your idea of a good friend was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours on the bus.
In fourth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who was willing to switch square dancing partners in gym so you wouldn’t have to be stuck do-si-do-ing with the dork of the class.
In fifth grade your idea of a friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.
In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who went up to your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn’t have to be embarrassed.
In seventh grade your idea of a friend was the person who let you copy the social studies homework from the night before that you had forgotten about.
In eighth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball cards so that your room would be a “high schooler’s” room, but didn’t laugh at you when you finished and broke out into tears.
In ninth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went with you
to that “cool” party thrown by a senior so you wouldn’t wind up being the only freshman there.
In tenth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch.
In eleventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you rides in their new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn’t be grounded, consoled you when you broke up with your significant other and found you a date to the prom.
In twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pick out a college, assured you that you would get into that college, helped you deal with your parents who were having a hard time adjusting to the idea of letting you go.
At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give as they congratulated you.
The summer after twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you clean up from that party. Helped you sneak out of the house when you just couldn’t deal with your parents. Assured you that now that your significant other were back together, you could make it through anything. Helped you pack up for college and just silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at 18 years of memories you were leaving behind.
And finally on those last days of childhood, went out of their way to come over and send you off with a hug, a lot of memories and reassurance that you would make it in college as well as you had these past 18 years. But most importantly sent you off to college knowing you were loved.
Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices.
Holds your hand when you’re scared.
Helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you.
Thinks of you at times when you are not there.
Reminds you of what you have forgotten.
Helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer.
Stays with you so that you have confidence.
Goes out of their way to make time for you.
Helps you clear up your mistakes.
Helps you deal with pressure from others.
Smiles for you when they are sad.
Helps you become a better person.
However most importantly loves you!
Author Unknown
At the end:
Henry Durbanville said: “A friend is the first person who comes in when the whole world goes out.”
Satan’s Beatitudes
Satan’s Beatitudes
If the Devil, whom we don’t hear much about today, were to write his Beatitudes, they would possibly go something like this:
“Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians in Church–they are my best workers.
Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked–I can use them.
Blessed are the touchy, with a bit of luck they may stop going to Church–they are my missionaries.
Blessed are those who are very religious but get on everyone’s nerves–they are mine forever.
Blessed are the troublemakers–they shall be called my children.
Blessed are those who have no time to pray–they are easy prey for me.
Blessed are the complainers–I’m all ears for them.
Blessed are you when you read this and think it is about other people and not yourself–I’ve got you.”
Unknown
Funny, Isn’t It?
FUNNY, ISN’T IT?
Funny how a P500 looks so big when you take it to church,
But so small when you take it to the mall.
Funny how long it takes to serve God for an hour,
But how quickly a team plays 60 minutes of basketball.
Funny how long a couple of hours spent at church are,
But how short they are when watching a movie.
Funny how we can’t think of anything to say when we pray,
But don’t have difficulty thinking of things to talk about to a friend.
Funny how we get thrilled when a baseball game goes into extra innings,
But we complain when a sermon is longer than the regular time.
Funny how hard it is to read a chapter in the Bible,
But how easy it is to read 100 pages of a best selling novel.
Funny how people want to get a front seat at any game or concert,
But scramble to get a backseat at church services.
Funny how we need 2 or 3 weeks advance notice to fit a church event into our schedule,
But can adjust our schedule for a last minute party.
Funny how hard it is for people to learn a simple gospel well enough to tell others,
But how simple it is for the same people to understand and repeat gossip.
Funny how we believe what the newspaper says,
But question what the Bible says.
Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided
They do not have to believe, or think, or say, or do anything.
Funny how you can send a thousand jokes through e-mail and they spread like wildfire,
But when you start sending message how many on your list are not receiving it
Because you are not sure they believe in anything.
FUNNY, ISN’T IT? Spread the WORD and give thanks to the LORD for HE is
GOOD!
You only have ONE life, LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST!!!
Unknown Author
Butt Prints in the Sand
Butt Prints In The Sand
One night I had a wondrous dream,
One set of footprints there was seen,
The footprints of my precious Lord,
But mine were not along the shore.
But then some stranger prints appeared,
And I asked the Lord, “What have we here?”
Those prints are large and round and neat,
“But Lord they are too big for feet.”
“My child,” He said in somber tones,
“For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait.”
“You disobeyed, you would not grow,
The walk of faith, you would not know.
So I got tired, I got fed up,
and there I dropped you on your butt.”
“Because in life, there comes a time,
when one must fight, and one must climb.
When one must rise and take a stand,
or leave their butt prints in the sand.”
author unknown
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